I am soaked in motherhood............

I am soaked I a short of  words but my heart is filled with the --words of expression,childhood memories and best motherhood time .I am all soaked from the bottom of my heart to the core .Life has given me one of  the best gift  , my son -Advit. Daily we do new activities and his new exploring things make me feel out of the world. Even, I adore his tantrums.He copy my expression,my words,activities and what not ..It will be three yrs in nov but first when I experience him till date life has the biggest mood swing and I became what I can never imagine of myself to be ...He let me learn so many things, yes ..I learn from him ..his coming make me a new person- I crochet , blog, Bake, cook, polite,patient and lot of positivity..He is my buddy ..but I a mommy and that to a typical dominating mom and he is as cute as all son are..

• I am so much thrilled when he learn what I say( I like to dominate ;))
• If I put a medicine on my feet(as I got hurt ) he came and said ohh u r hurt mommy U need hug .
• .sometimes he get hurt say ..I need Icepack (ohh really u know so much)
• If I have tension on my face he release in a minute by saying are you okay mommy ?(awww..that means a lot)
• If I am angry he says ....mommy ur so cute (flirt ..)
• If he is crying for says I am cranky ..हम बहुत रोते  है/ 
• Saying ...I can help you in whatever work I am doing
• If anything happen against his wish he says  he/she is not cute ..
• He greets elders  by touching there feet
• Say Namsthe to his grandparents on phone
• He says thanks and when he does something for me Before I says he says mommy say Thanks
• In the park he just make a mess 
• with Paint he make his dress and shirt in a new manner ..
• I am soaked in love and affection of my child 
• These days are some time is tiring and exhaust sometimes but these things are for 10 yrs only (may be even more or less)then there will be no more soak
• I treasure them in collage/ hard drive/online and much more.Above all in the eyes n heart all things went like a movie .

Future is hidden but the present is so beautiful.I am not only mother, doing this but I am only mother for my son doing it  .I am ideal for him--this feel drench my heart and make me feel expressionless.The  trust love and affection of a child  on mother is so much I still need my mom I know her and love her even more .

Dome to dump

Through the eyes of my friend.........she wanted me to write for those who are alone and need strength... when she started the pain I feel it till she ended hats off.......

" The day I get pregnant I was happy and sad at the same time although I want some more time it was just a month after marriage I got the news ....although I want more time to know but my husband was not ready for the precaution or might be he do not know ........He was in office when I get the news I need him at home ......I cry and feel good at the same time ....but definitely I do not want the baby at this time ..I was really nervous and kind of guilty to give the news to everyone specially everyone  when all person have so much of planning.........I also want the baby after my anniversary I want to have some time when we can understand each other but any how ...I need to be but at one corner was scared too ........I was well prepared to have the baby as   there is no precautions  .........I do not know he was happy or not ....

Any ways time started my reading and interface also  increased so much for the baby .I spend lot of time on internet to know abut baby growth. I was really working hard for it and happily for it .............I had a  normal and cool period beside having  some morning sickness and irritation from the spices ........Now every month doctor visits and test are scheduled I feel I am in the different world hormones are working right I want to get pampered.

But things are not in my favor a kind  of gap I felt is there in between us  .As he is introvert he s taking time to say something to me in a  way I am not in the way as I am this make me more in my shell ....but knowing the fact all effects the bay i started concentrating there by thinking all will be well .................although I know I am thinking too much he is doing everything I want just I need a perception ............this is all marriage is all about .............I want cosiness i want he should eat with me .....should appreciate what I make as it the first time I am trying different things ..but he was too much inert .......I pray daily I love to decorate the things I make things special but he ignored everything and just follow the things as it is .............i feel really annoyed .....no credit for things I did just he say i feel more and speak less but he appreciate a lot when we go to others place

...I feel humiliated and low  ..... I was no more independent i need to borrow money from him he decline to give me any bucks .....................as he says what ever you need  will buy for you as you will not go alone even if I will he gave a credit card for it ...........I love to have cash .....I was again disappointed .....I love to read but he do not I am releasing we are very different ..........After coming home from office he like to spend time in talking with his friends and family rather then what I did whole day .......even now we have sex  .........which scares me always ...........about the baby ..........and I feel is he not concerned .......?............whole month is about to over i didn't get any offer or kind of help from him..........he is so self confined that he was least bothered what is happening the pain headache get a part of life .... inviting friends and my cooking without his help continue......... no appreciation that I am still doing everything ...................  Finally a fight happen  and he said to get separated OMG just the third month and he is ready to get this .............I was shattered and  recognize that it is the start of storm ....I had a baby of his and he is just overreacting when I ask him to pamper me give me time ,help ...its not I need help but I need to spend time ........I am a part of his life but he was inert only for sex he was with me ..............else I am nothing more then ............have no words for it .......while we are talking only he is happy till he speak about his struggle ........when I started mine he get comparative and get stuck to it end with fight he blame me for it ..........I came to the conclusion if I speak for anything which he do not like we end up with fight ..............I am feeling alone very alone .............he was getting more strange and rude with me ................I read more ..got the ultrasound done was so happy and can feel my baby more and more .........I do everything for my baby .... prenatal and all started .............

I am reading books badly I complete more then a book in a day novels in 2-3 days ......sleep a lot ........want to cook good may be that is only work I am left with and I was married recently to show my love for my husband ...he has mainly a bachelor friends so I do not have any person to share my feeling ......His family only want a boy and not interested in my health and well being ......also do not want that there son got to cook anything for me ............I was so far from my mother that I can;t share all this from them  ....may be even if I do she will tell me to adjust...............which i was already doing .......slowly slowly I get into my shell  ...............but as i sleep a lot I use to be pretty  relaxed .............I want  to be for my baby to be a gentle person .....I use to see doctor alone as  he was busy in his office sometimes sometimes together I can see the nervousness on his face ...............he do not know anything about the biology of human system may be slept in the class while studying .... now even hi do not try to know about it ........really annoying..!! when I ask the doctor for sex in front of him he looked at me as if he will kill  me  or I am getting so cheap ......doctor was shocked that I am still looking for sex ..................I looked at him as if he did sin but he was again inert my utter surprise .........all continue ..............I read books get instruction from all over some I follow some I do not .....When I think today then I am happy as I know my in laws and husband so well that i never want to have the baby .............. again what God did was the right thing I do not know anyone  well ...so I was thinking all will be well i am so sweet I will make everything normal ...............but you need both hands to clap  ..I am  sure that I am  going in a black hole where i need to make a silver line ..........for that I started keeping me busy by cooking two times a day ..then crochet ...blogs ......joining community for babies ..thinking about the most beautiful things my hubby doing for me ............I started enjoying e go for walks after meals start staring the stars moon sky ...but he is phone many times ..........again  feel my time is given for other person ..............I feel bad .......I started talking to my baby I feel as if I am on the top f world ...........although there is not much movement .......My hubby bring everything what I ask ............I feel good .......and enjoying my role ....I am happy ............I sleep a lot ..........I think good and religious watch non action movies ... I try to complete the work which I started ..I think the way I want my baby to be .......I am happy with the co mothers with me  in different community i joined through social sites ..........

I do all possible things to find the sex for the baby............. I really find it interesting whether it is moving an engagement ring on belly ........or  father tummy grow up if boy vice versa for girls ....sounds silly but even I enjoy doing it want to keep it surprise so we say we do not wish to know about the gender ............Although I want to but hubby says no ..I feel it should be always a surprise .......

Time was taking in the hormonal change section my morning sickness went away after third month I love to eat maggi and at time get up at night and feel like eating anything ......I ate and cook whatever I like ......I become religious and  listen to all possible good thoughts ......still drowsy and sleepy ............I am trying to be happy all the way

My husband started working from home.......I cook good food fresh one two times a day at times he make tea for me .....I feel good .....also want that he should make some dish ...he made chickpea curry ......really  amazing taste ......He needs to be more expressive I try to open to him he has lot of work pressure he is busy .......I feel like getting hugs and kisses whole day .....when he work from home I do it too..............still remember my night walk in the apartment ........My  tummy was not even visible after 5month neither  gained lot of weight ............I want my hubby should give me food fruits and all but he is not that type ............for the sake of baby  I eat it my self  .....acceptance is the biggest key to stay happy all person in world can't be same  when i go to hospital I even found the husband who are just after there wife like anything just pampering and loving the same way as the mother do .......I feel bad and cry at times to but then overcome it soon............

Time passes i sleep more more I got up at 7 in the morning tell my husband to serve him tea after 5 more minutes of sleep then I got up again at 11 ....sometimes he take tea by himself sometimes he is so busy to do any work .....................I cook breakfast soon......"

to be continued ....

I am going to missing it

KBC last day of this year.... I had just seen......... last episode of this year .I am going to miss the show the content the feel the emotion and everything....the BigB voice ...ahhhhhhhhh !! that the best part of show ...I relates to the contestant their  stories and the best aam adami  they make it special and I feel .......I am playing...I imagine what I will answer if I am there .......hmmmmmm


बेहद दिल के करीब यह शो अमिताभ जी की आवाज़ और सटीक समझदी और प्यार  से भरी  ठिठोली बहुत याद आएगी ...सबसे अच्छी बात आम आदमी से खास की तरफ बद्ठे कदम हर देशवासी अपने आप को हॉट सीट पे देखता है हर सवाल के साथ खेलता है .....अमिताभ जी को छु कर दुनिया मुठी में कर   लेता है ......सदी के महानायक ने लोगो को गले लगा कर ,हाथ मिला कर , आंसू पोछ कर अपनेपन का एहसास दिया .....उनकी आवाज़ और आवाज़ की सरलता लोरी की तरह कानो में घुलती है .......उनकी सीख उनकी सादगी उन्हें महानायक बनती है .....खलेने वाले के साथ पूरा देश् खेलता है    में हर एक  कि कहानी में डूब जाती हु........एक जुड़ाव कहीं न कही अपने आप से कर लेती हु .......सिद्धार्थ बासु का बहुत बहुत शुक्रिया इस शो के लिये ....
आम से खास बनाने का ऐसी जगह से जुड़ने का और

Work from home for homemakers

Home maker has the most work to do without any help and credit...She has to be perfect and work  whole life ...anyways I am happy now the choice and things are known and made for her...Also women is trying to get aware of the things and want to work to  give better life to the family ...sometimes it is not possible to go out of the and work .........The possible  things one can do .......Everything need hard work support and dedication .Before starting you need to make sure nothing will come immediately to get reputation name and chance all need time and consistent dedication ..... may be result will be not in your favour  but patience is the key ...also the choice of job must have your inner zest and passion for it ..else you may loose the charm...



Be an agent( BY COMMISSION)
LIC RD/FD,Passport Visa, Ration Card, Voter's ID, License, Pan Card ,Mutual Fund
This all needs lot of determination,knowledge, loyalty,dedication and clarity updated ,collection and data maintenance, initial hard work

Travel Agent  Railway ,Flight, Hotel stay, place to visit
Services Provider - Catering, Tiffin, chocolate and cookies,Gift wrapping, Mehndi , parlour,  Massage
Hobby Classes (painting, drawing, stitching,  knitting, crochet, musical instrument...etc )
Tuition center (day care,toddlers/kinder garden, specific subjects, Middle school, High school )
Rent services  -Magazines, Novels, Costumes, Jewellery, temporary medical disable things, Chairs, Home Furnishings
Management  Event, Conference, Meetings, College/school tours, Local Guided tours

Social Work  Water Coolers,Tree guards,A day for letting other learn(weekly/monthly),Attach with NGO ,  Orphanages, Old age home, Libraries, Ran Basera 
 Arrange  as per needed (keep the number of the person and call as per needed )
Plumber,Nurse/Compounder, Nanny, Courier, Alteration, Cleaner, Laundry, Gardner, Maid, DTP, STD PCO, bill depostion service,Security service,Yoga Classes, Mobile Library, taxi driver, painter, tailor, Iron, Carpenter, Car  Washing, Cobbler

मौन

  जीवन  में  की  मौन  परिभाषा किसी गूंगे से पूछे तोह सही  मिल पायेगी / वसे इस दुनिया में कितने लोग है जो बोलते है फूल झड़ते है ...... कुछ बोलते है........... तो कान बंद करने का मन होत्ता है  .....कितनी ही बार बोलने से बात सुलझ जाती है  ..उतनी ही बार उलझ जाती है ...............पहलु हर बात के दो पहलु तीसरा नहीं होता बना दिया जाता है ....मौन  रह  कर  हम  अपनी  इज्ज़त  रख सकते है ..एक दुसरे को बातें समझा सकते है  बिना बोले बहुत से बात में बहस का कोई आधार  नहीं होता.... उसे हमे बिना बोले ही समझना होता है ....बोलने से     बाते और उलझ जाती है ...खास कर भारतीय घर में जहाँ बहुत कडवी और सच्ची बातें नहीं बोली जा सकती.. सही गलत नहीं... अपने मन की बात बोलने के लिए सही मौका ज़रूरी है..............

मौन हथियार है अपने में गुम होने का .........जब बातों का असर ख़तम हो जाये ...उससे पहले मौन सही है  ........

    ..जब बात ओछी शब्दावली की तरफ   जाये तब मौन बिलकुल  सही है .....यदि बातें बहस से बढकर .......लड़ाई और एकदूसरे को दुखी करना ..मौन को अपना दोस्त बना लेना चाहिए ......मौन के बहुत से फायदे है ....वही नुकसान भी जहाँ ज़रूरी हो वह मौन नहीं रह सकते कभी अपने लिए अभी अपन के अपने लिए बोलना पड़ता है.........बात  कहने का ढंग होता है वही ढंग ..बात की पुष्ठी करता है.............कभी आने वाले कल के लिए आवाज़ ज़रूरी है.....

मौन हथियार है ज और सभी हथियारों की तरह समझदारी से इस्तेमाल करना चाहिए ..

परिवर्तन

परिवर्तन -एक सहज ज़िन्दगी का बहुत ही ज़रूरी पहलु है  / प्रकृति का ज़रूरी नियम जो हम सब को मानना  चाहिए / परिवर्तन  चाहे  जैसा  भी हो --जगह का लोगो का ,शरीर का  , उम्र का या फिर   /एक सहज ज़िन्दगी का बहुत ही ज़रूरी पहलु है  हम जितनी आसानी से परिवरतन को ग्रहण करते है उन्तना असं जीवन होता है .....चाहे अच्छा हो या बुरा ....

उदहारण =

•  यदि सास बहु के आने के बाद परिवर्तन को एक हद तक स्वीकार करे  और बहु भी ऐसा ही करे ..
• शादी के बाद एक स्त्री के रूप और कार्य में आये परिवर्तन चाहे घर अच्छा हो या बुरा या बहुत बुरा ....एक स्त्री के हाथ में होत्ता है कुछ हद तक अपनी मर्याद और अपने सम्मान के साथ रहना /नहीं बोलना गलत है अपनी बात राखी चाहिए जो गलत है वो बोना चाहिए ...किसी भी असममान्य व्हावार का विरोध करना चाहिए /
• नौकरी का बदलाव - हमेशा हर चीज़ हर जगह नहीं मिलती पूरी संतुस्ठी मिलना मुश्किल होता है /कभी पैसे से नहीं ,कभी लोगो से नहीं ,कभी काम से नहीं ,कभी बॉस से नहीं 
• मौसम का बदलाव -यह  तो भगवन का नियम है पर अपने शरीर के उपेक्षा करके हम इसको भी आसानी से नहीं ले पाते कभी बीमार रहते है या कुछ न कुछ चलता रहता है ..और मज़े के बात हम मौसम  को दोष देते है 
• उम्र का बढना बेहद मुश्किल से अपनाया जाने वाला सत्य ...हम तो इतना काम करते थे ....हम इतना खाते थे ...हम इतना घूमते थे ...........क्या था इस पर बहुत ध्यान है ...पर एसा क्यों हुआ यह सब भूल जाते है ....जवानी के बाद जब अधेड़ होते है तब अपने शरीर का साथ उतना नहीं मिलता तब की तकलीफ न पूछो ....कुछ लोगो जवानी को कायम रखने के लिए क्या कुछ नहीं करते चटक कपडे चटक स्टाइल बस जो करना चाहिए वो भूल जाते है .............परहेज व्यायाम और सुविचार ...दुनिया और अपनी पसंद से विरक्ति  नहीं लेकिन अपना एक दर्जा -ताकि सब सम्मान कर सके (उस समय को याद करना चाहिए जब  और लोगो जवानी में आपको सताते थे प्रवचन से  !!) 

ज़रा सोचिये जब हम (में  भी )सारे परिवर्तन आसानी से लेने लग जायेंगे ...जो आजकल ट्रेंडी भी है आज के लोगो क यही सोच है ..इसलिए किसी भी नयी चीज़ को अपनाने में जायद समय नहं लगता दादी से ज़यादा मोबाइल पोता चला पता है ....माँ को इन्टरनेट बच्चा चला के देता है यह सब ग्रहण किया इसलिए उनके लिए असं है .............

सब कुछ एक सीमित मात्र में हम ले सकते है ....मौसम  का अचानक परिवर्तन प्रहर होता है  ..उसी  तरह एक परिवर्तन का दायरा होना चाहिए वो किसी को देख के बिना सर  पैर के नहीं होना चाहिए अपनी जड़ो(सम्मान और प्रतिस्था ) को छोड़ कर नहीं